The Top 3 Stoners in Video Games

Happy 4/20 day, and all that. And you know what that means? Yep, it’s the 4th of April. Oh, and blah-blah-marijuana, etc.

Now, we all know that Mario is off his head on shrooms, and Max Payne sucked down enough pills to knock out a herd of buffalo, but what about the fine green weed?

Not that Games Pulp condones drugs, of course. But if we did, we’d say you should take inspiration from these particularly perfect potheads.


Chloe Price (Life is Strange)

Just needs red eyes to match the outfit.

Just needs red eyes to match the outfit.

Life is Strange is one of the best games around. A narrative-driven choose-your-own-adventure-a-like, with all those deep themes, teen angst and time travel. Just like real life really.

And at its heart is Chloe Price – screwed up, rebellious and downright awesome for it. What’s not to love? She even manages to make blue hair look cool. Oh, and she’s off her face on grass like, all the time.

And where we’d be staring at Netflix’s Are You Still Watching? pop-up for hours on end, she’s out helping her best mate save the world from potential paradoxes. Which, now we come to think of it, is pretty trippy.



The Truth (GTA: San Andreas)

He knows. He knows you know. He knows you know he knows you know.

He knows. He knows you know. He knows you know he knows you know.

The GTA series filled with tokers, from Franklin Clinton to the wonderfully unintelligible Little Jacob. That makes sense, if you lived in a world where pedestrians are killed at a rate of 20 every minute, you’d need some escapism too.

The stand-out stoner though has to be The Truth – a paranoid hippie living out in the sticks where he grows his own. Because everyone knows cultivating homegrown is best.

Sure, he may come across as a nutcase conspiracy theorist with a major down on the sleazy GTA government, but he’s right-on, man. And he’d never knowingly Bogart a joint.


You (In, like, Tons of Games)

This is what you look like right now, right?

This is what you look like right now, right?

Yeah, you, you beautiful thing. You know you’ve done it.

There are tons of games that don’t explicitly make getting munted a character trait, but give the player the opportunity to indulge in the herb. Games devs are good like that.

From Saint’s Row to Postal 2 to GTA 5, you can just mellow out and enjoy the buzz. Although, in fairness, if we did do it in real life, we’re not convinced our vision would literally turn green after one drag. Not that we’d know. Because we don’t condone drugs, remember? Did we say that? Think we said that. Anyway, where’s the lighter…?


Drop us a line on Twitter and let us know how you’re going to celebrate 4/20 day. Or is every day 4/20 day? Or is 4/20 a government conspiracy designed to allow the commies and capitalists to begin a new world order? Whatever you do, chill out, man.


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