Gamespulp condenses Fallout 3’s story to the bare bones.
Ka-boom. War. Never changes. Liam ‘Beardy’ Neeson out of Taken leaves your sorry ass inside a nuclear vault filled with sweet roll and dickheads with quiffs, so you escape to find your daddy armed with a BB gun.
Stumble upon wasteland survivors who just fucking want stuff. Make friends who never comment on said selfishness of citizens. Fuck. Picked up another fetch quest. Somehow don’t shoot quest-giver in face (until the second play through).
Reload because Dogmeat died in a firefight. Join up with morally dubious faction and discover the truth about your dad, Liam Neeson out of Taken: Something something water something everyone. Kill lots of bastards.
Finally turn off radio after 250 hours. Hey, that’s Liam Neeson out of Taken! Save the wasteland by killing yourself because no other bitch will. This is your destiny. Well done, walking corpse.
Then Ron Perlman tells you what sort of bastard you were…
Next up – What’s the Story: Red Dead Redemption